new blog

i have a new one............. now the words really do come out.


goodbye to all,

When everyone lets me down,

thejansenface (9:15:53 PM): she is lovely
thejansenface (9:16:08 PM): she is beautiful
thejansenface (9:16:09 PM): she is smart
thejansenface (9:16:10 PM): she is small
thejansenface (9:16:12 PM): she is cute
thejansenface (9:16:20 PM): she is caring
thejansenface (9:16:20 PM): she is
thejansenface (9:16:23 PM): wonderful
thejansenface (9:16:31 PM): she is my everyyyything
thejansenface (9:16:34 PM): she is my only thing
thejansenface (9:16:40 PM): she's my girlfirend
thejansenface (9:16:46 PM): she is my bestfriend
thejansenface (9:16:48 PM): she is my wife
thejansenface (9:16:51 PM): she is my love
thejansenface (9:16:56 PM): she she she she is erikacamisse

He's the one picking up all the pieces.

In Your Essence

If I had to pick a day, where it felt like no one really cared. Then maybe today would of been one of many. Honestly, you could smile about everything and still have that weak sad feeling in your mind. Wondering, if your going to let them get to you. Or think about what's getting to you. Or just making yourself feel like they're not so important to even let them in your mind. But your an open door with no door. A big chunk of space that even Bob the Builder can't "fix it". Tell me when I mean something to your life. Actually, I hope actions speak louder than words. Because every day getting hit by words, hurt more than just being in the presence of familiars that leave when they think your better again.

I'm alone in this house, not mine. I've been here for two weeks in a half. Its started to become a house to me. Not a home, a house. Left over cookies, and chocolate milk. Comcast free videos, Loads of homework. And no one here telling you what you can and cannot do. I think this advantage, I'm going to take it responsibly. Take a warm hot shower. Clean a little. Wash a few dishes in the sink. Do some homework. And sleep when the sun rises and my eye lids start to close.

If eyes could talk, my eyelids would be shut.

Jansen Abellera

Today, I get the message of your tears falling and your heart sinking. It wasn't a good morning for you. And I wasn't helping at the beginning. But I just want you to know that I love you, and I promise to stay this time. I'm sorry that I did that in the first place, but things changed, and now it changes again. My mind. My mind is set on you. As well as my heart. "My heart is going to fall out of my head". Not tht my heart is in my head, but you need a little heart in everything. And I'm telling you things are going to get better. He's still in your life. And he still loves you as much as you love him, maybe even more. I've been there, still going through it. And now its you and me. I got you. I'm always going to be there. I'm always going to try my hardest to make you the happiest kid on the planet. Though my words aren't so deep, I hope they are at least comforting. Love letters, love letters that I send to you through this. And I'm telling you, everything is going to be more than okay. Your only fifteen, you have more things to go through more things to worry about. Life goes on. remember, and your life.. Well I'm always going to stay in it. I'm not going anywhere. I refuse to let go, and I refuse to let us go downhill. I love you Jansen. I love you more and more everyday. I wish you would smile. I wish you were getting better. I wish I can see you. I wish that Wednesday was a FOR SURE. I wish you were here. I wish I was near you. I just Wish... I love you Jansen, just because he's gone and they're separated doesn't mean they don't love eachother whatever you say. You think they don't, but deep down you know that they still do. Just like with me, no matter how much I tell you I hate you and I'm mad at you. You know I still love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you Jansen Camara Abellera. You're part of my family.

Instead of wishing, why don't you just do something about it.