Sick Call

Today, I had work and surprisingly I didn't flake or call in sick. My body told me, but my mind said no. So I woke up and got read for work. The usual brush, floss, rinse, wash, dress, tie, slip, clips, walk, out, drive routine. I was quiet in the car, I usually talk to my uncle about my daily life or my mom's & "its" whereabouts. But today, I just listening to Nsync's Tape on the road. Didn't bother to change it, I didn't mind. I just waited until we reached the entrance. I was bitting my nails hoping I won't get caught again wearing the wrong pants because that security guy was there. My mind was losing it, as I walked past Post 4. I wanted to just turn back and drive home. But I had to keep going. I called my love, he was awake. He didn't call me that night, but I didn't trip he was tired as so was I. He kept me company as I struggled to take my steps. I reached work, wondering who was opening as a manager. It was Victor, and lucky me it was his first time Opening. He's lucky I know how the "leadmanage" works. But he got it under control. I was still on the phone with Jansen, I was so heated with him telling him I was unsure again. Like I know I always pull that crap but only because I'm not sure. I'm not sure if its going to work out actually. Like I was so upset that I went all the way to his school and he just left me. Practically just left me. yet I know I was still there, its just I thought we'd get to spend more time together, like I came to see him. I guess bad timing sucks penis. Well, I hate those phone calls in the morning wondering whose going to be on the other line. And there it goes, Jose Manager. "Send Erika to demon". Lataina, you seriously screwed me and Victor over today, but its okay its okay you were sick, "Sureeeeeeeee". So me and Victor set up Demon less than 30 minutes. It usually takes me the whole morning, good thing, I made Victor do all the hard crap. There I was "trying to read", eating, drinking, texting, and watching as guests came by. It was something "awareness" today. Learned how to use, pointing, and silence and some sign language ftw. It was pretty intense but it was a great experience. I didn't get a break or anything until 1 :30. 1:32 hit, I got to go back to my store. Even though it was lunch, I just slept in my stroller behind the store. It felt like I slept for hours though I woke up in half an hour to my Co worker, Lead & Manager's faces. Asking me if I was okay. I lied. Apparently, I love work more than I show it. So I got my ten minute break right after, I hit the stroller again. Tried calling my babe once more, he didn't pick up, as usual. Went back to work, did absolutely nothing, besides walking around, wrapping apples, watching mixed element, eating, drinking, being on Manger's Register, a few times, and just chilling in the back having our talks with Victoria & Victor. Work was pretty easy today, Thanks to Seestar, Shea, Mekay,Gabe & Boyfriend for keeping me company the entire time. Texting is really a new upgrade to socializing. Went home, waited for my mom & "it". Got home, went upstairs. Changed clothes, went on the computer trying to fix this blog and its not that hard actually.

My mind is filled with lies as I slowly begin to stop believeing in you. Everyday its an emotional rollercoaster as you make me sad, then happy, then teary eyes and then smile? I just don't get it. Its gotten hard, Even harder. I think its my fault. It is my fault. I fell too hard, My mind is going insane. I've became more stronger than ever. Yet I still feel I can break at any second.


I bend, not break.