I'm missing one thing.

The call ended because of your mom. But it was okay, we haven't gotten in a fight for a week already. And its been better, we've been better, we've gotten stronger. I've been happy. I know I may not show it so much, but only because I want you to be the one to see it. I've been in my room for hours everyday wondering when am I going to see you again. I'm here now, trying not to let these tears drop, but they won't freeze. Its so hard. Its so hard for us to be together. Life sucks in our words, because your so far away. Your the only thing that matters. The only thing that I want that matters. Everyday, calling you right when I wake up. And getting your morning calls. Everyday, texting you in a every period, just to tell you my destination. Everyday, talking to you on the phone when we know its not enough. Everyday, walking to each class wondering where you are right now. I've been through alot, been done and out with guys and I wish all the things I've done, I could just erase. But knowing that its all the mistakes that brought me here. That all the obstacles I had to go through just to be with you, it was all worth it. Knowing we had to go through hell and back just to be together, it was worth every tear shed. My family, my mom my sister, they haven't been at their best right now. My mom is slowly suffering through her boyfriend's mistakes. Through house problems. Money crap, and everything. I wish I could help, I try to help, I give her money now and then. I don't ask for anything. My sister, I'm so proud of her. She's doing better than I was when I was her age. She's growing taller and stronger than ever. I look up to her, though she is young. I know she's gonna be so much more . I'm happy with everyone in my life, I'm so blessed to have a great family, I'm lucky to have great friends. My love is given with everyone else's. But....Theres just one thing missing. The love of my life, Jansen. Everyday, knowing I could be with you. I probably could see your face everyday, I can be everything and so much more than what you tell me each day. Putting on a smile, knowing that I really wish you'd see it. I miss you. I miss being next to you. When I'm with you I feel like I'm always running out of time. Always feeling like, there's not enough time in the world. Having, planning, flaking, crying. Everything. Its hard to blog when your on the phone. So I gues i'm done for the night. goodnight.


I have your Jackets, I have your Keychain, I have your ID, I have your pictures, I have your heart, the only thing missing is you.